How I learned to stop resenting lurkers in my community (from 😠 to 🥰)
I launched my community on 10-25-25. Like many of us here, I was full of enthusiasm and excitement, which was quickly followed by dismay and frustration.
After all my hard work—and money! (I did not get the early FC deal)—creating the community, how dare they not fall over themselves to rush and post, participate, comment, and react?!
Hello?! Is this mic on? 🎙️
Maybe this one works better. 🎤
But…it was mostly crickets. 🦗
I wondered if I’d made a mistake. Maybe my audience didn’t want a membership after all. Maybe I’d missed the mark, wasted my time, squandered my money.
But then I decided to learn a bit more about membership dynamics. I listened to a podcast episode called Learn to Love Your Lurkers.
The episode helped me understand that just because I’m super vocal in communities, and that I want to see a lot of activity does not mean that is how my members get value out of my community.
And the more I try and force more activity and chatter, the more I might be overwhelming and alienating some of my most valuable members.
Instead of begging my members to post more, I made a post reassuring lurkers. And guess what? Some of my most quiet members commented or reacted to the post in appreciation!
So if your community is quiet, consider doing the opposite of cajoling members to post, and reassuring people that it’s ok to lurk.
You might be pleasantly surprised at what happens. 🩷
The episode:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7C7vYnfN28OtkS6POCldHd?si=iNpFTKTDQ1-9IDAewPN2yA
This reminds me to study up. There's a wealth of information online about this, finding the diamond in the rough is something that a community can do...and Lurkers see.
Ro Dopemu you are welcome!
Here’s where I’m learning about memberships:
- Membership-Driven Business podcast
- Membership Geeks podcast (I’m going to rejoin their Membership Academy soon)
- Evelyn Weiss’ Youtube channel and her Grow With Evelyn Skool community
Please share with us valuable resources and best practices that you find.
Sure thing, you never know who maybe watching your site, not just paying customers but sponsors also that may offer a valuable backlink to your site and over time, they might write some sort of review on their blog about what you offer.
Have you considered running Google/Facebook ads for your site? Some say you need a $50-$100 per day ad spend and about 3 months of run time to collect enough data, however this may not come without risk, so it could be boom or bust. If you do not know anything about running ads, then you may need to consult an ad expert. Is it possible to turn $100 day into $500, yes, but again, it does not come without risk tolerance.
David Scurlock yes, I’ve considered it. I’m very experienced with running Meta ads in the past, but haven’t run many campaigns since 2019.
I work with Malcolm Tyson, Evelyn Weiss, and Laurel on Meta ads—so I have a lot of support in that area when I’m ready!
Kaneisha G. then I look forward to see another post when you decide. I think others would like to see how that goes also.
Ad's aren't viable unless you have a greater than $250 CLV. PPC ads generally yield a 2% conversion rate if your site is optimized. So if you pay $2 per click and get 100 clicks. You'll convert 2 people for $200. If you can optimize your ads you'll have $300 revenue, if you don't you'll have $50. Somewhere in the average.
You'll also need to look at the customer purchase trends over time to avoid spending too much during times when customers are less likely to buy. For example, if you have a "Summer Styles" community, members are less likely to join during winter and fall.
Another better option is retargeting, A combination of the two can help cut costs and get results.
https://sproutsocial.com/glossary/retargeting/
Ro Dopemu fun fact! I bought a bunch of used Ikea desks from the founder of Sprout Social a few years ago! He delivered them to my house and we talked a bit.
Ro Dopemu yes I have a high customer lifetime value ($15k+ for my signature offer). I would run ads for that and funnel people who aren’t a good fit for that would get offered my membership.
Adding a few interesting YT links related to building a community - "beginners" might find it useful:
-
How to Build a Thriving Membership Community: 10 Do’s & Don’ts
Learn vital strategies to build a successful membership community and common pitfalls you must avoid!
-
Community 101 | Intro to the Community Maturity Model
The Community Maturity Model, developed by the Community Roundtable, articulates the two concepts required to advance the business of community.
First, it defines the eight competencies required to build successful business communities.
Second, it articulates how these competencies progress from hierarchical organizations to those that have embraced a networked approach to their business.
-
How to made first $1000 with ZERO audience
Promoting community showcase
-
Dive In DISC
How to use the DISC personality framework to enhance member engagement and increase conversion rates within online groups and communities.
-
How to Plan Your Membership Tiers for MAX sales!
The core themes for successful community building and monetization emphasize a strategic shift from content-heavy delivery to member-centric relationships, intentional growth marketing, and adapting to technological evolution.
-
Tips for a High-Impact Campaign Membership Drive
Hints for executing a high-impact membership drive, categorizing the advice into two main areas: Strategic Planning and Execution and Growth Strategies
-
How to Launch a Community (3-Month Timeline Revealed)
Comprehensive, phase-based approach for building a community, stressing that rushing the process leads to the community becoming a "logistical burden".
-
How to Build a community, course or membership (steps)
Core principles for creating a lucrative digital business, emphasizing a shift toward relationships rather than content.
-
Steps to Better Networking
Presents networking not as a one-time activity, but as a compounding system or a flywheel built on three sequential stages designed to build momentum.
-
This is Community in 202X
Three major trends defining the future of enterprise communities: AI, Community Everywhere, and Driving Growth.
-
Starting a Membership Website? 5 Questions to Ask Yourself...
Critical questions creators must answer honestly before launching a membership site, emphasizing that success requires commitment, value, and the right motivation.
-
Your Course Doesn’t Need More Content - It Needs this
Successful online courses require a shift from the outdated content consumption model to Community Integrated Learning.
Mat wow! Thanks! Can we get some context for the links like titles?
Kaneisha G. I have added title and some context in the post above.
I suggest to use NotebookLM to make easy use of these links/content for example: Audio summary and listen as podcast of needed.
AI Summary:
Successful community businesses deliver measurable results and transformation that members cannot achieve alone.
- I. Foundations Define a Clear Outcome: The community must offer a clear, compelling transformation or result (not just features). Use an Outcome-Informed Features approach, designing every component with the desired member result in mind.
Strategic Goals: Membership drives require establishing SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound).
Prioritize Relationships: The primary factor for success is whether members connect with other members ("People Magic"), which drives retention, results, and powerful word-of-mouth marketing.
- II. Engagement and Learning The Networking Flywheel (Engage, Connect, Amplify):
Engage: Show up for your people before you have an "ask" (e.g., thoughtful commenting, sharing resources).
Connect: Track warm signals and move relationships naturally from comments/DMs to meetings to drive revenue.
Amplify: Use your network to drive public trust by sharing wins, celebrating introductions, and highlighting contributions.
Community Integrated Learning (CIL): To boost low course completion rates (often 15%), weave community and education together using five elements:
Human Connection (Sense of belonging).
Engaged Application (Active learning with immediate feedback).
Accountability System (Check-ins, nudges).
Real-Time Support (Peer and expert help).
Transformation Together (Shared celebration of success).
Tailoring Communication (DISC): Customize engagement/sales pitches based on personality type:
Dominance (D): Focus on results and big wins.
Influence (I): Focus on stature and influence.
Steadiness (S): Focus on support and stability.
Conscientiousness (C): Focus on track record and proof/evidence.
- III. Growth and Operations Launch Strategy: Start with a beta/private launch (5-30 evangelists) to validate demand. A cohort model (sporadic opening/closing) creates urgency and supports concentrated marketing.
Pricing: Avoid underpricing, which leads to burnout and attracts low-commitment members. Focus on increasing value instead of slashing prices. Prefer annual or quarterly plans over monthly.
Tech & Structure: Choose a community-first platform. Avoid overcomplicating the offering; start with a single offering at a single price point.
Ad Strategy: Optimize campaigns for complete registration directly to the community platform to acquire highly qualified members affordably.
- IV. Maturity and Future Trends Community Maturity Model (CMM): Assesses a community's growth across eight competencies (Strategy, Leadership, Metrics, etc.) through four stages, from Ad hoc (Stage 1) to Networked (Stage 4), where the community is central to the business.
Future Trends: Community programs must shift from saving cost to driving growth.
Community Everywhere: Focus on a member-centric approach across multiple channels (LinkedIn, Reddit) rather than one rigid platform.
AI's Role: AI handles simple answers; humans remain crucial for complex problems, workarounds, and personal experiences.
New Measurement: Traditional metrics like "core deflection" are becoming unreliable. Focus on metrics that prove value by driving growth (e.g., advocacy, increased spending) and measuring the community-driven impact score (influence on renewal/goals).
I think that's why multi-reactions are so important. Giving lurkers an option to show their sentiment without needing to actually engage can then encourage those who are keen to post to post more. A few likes can go a long way to boost motivation to post more, and more options than a heart can boost motivation to react to a post.
Ross FCA agreed!
For any decent activity within a community you would require 500 - 1000 members
Morgan McArthur and some dedicated members that believe in you wouldn't hurt either.
Morgan McArthur I respectfully disagree! I have a lot of activity in my community with just 50 members (~20 of them are paying $33/mo or $97/mo for the community specifically and the rest are clients of my signature program). See the screenshots.
I share these, because I don't want people to think they have to have a really big community for it to be thriving and active.
Kaneisha G. sure a small amount of members can be highly engaged depending on the business model. It usually comes with a lot of hand holding to keep them engaged. The 500 - 1000 is more like where the community starts to take a life of its own and self sustains with not as much hand holding is what i was referring too.
David Scurlock for sure, they are the ones that engage vs the lurkers
To add when I say 500 - 1000 for a community to be properly active I was more referring to those communities that hosts courses also. So in the case of creating courses and expecting those students of the courses to engage in the community that would require a decent amount of students. Unless of course you are hand holding more and making the community a value driven add with extra support with calls, etc.
Morgan McArthur yes we do a lot of community management and engagement. Posts, group calls, challenges, and self-paced courses. I love my community so far!
Kaneisha G. that's awesome hence your small community numbers and high engagement!